A glance, a smile.

There were more than ten things running in her mind, she was walking back home after another boring day. she wore the long frown, that has got on her for a few days now. A few steps down the road and she feel little droplets on her shoulders and sensed the fragrance of the mud, the typical smell of first rains. She pulled her hairband off and continued to walk at her usual pace unmindful of the drizzle - frowning, tired and irritated. she walked across the road and took left to the main road. The yellow street lights, the green cover on both sides of the road and the unusually calm surroundings made the road look scenic and pleasant. A dark figure walking towards her on the same side caught her attention. She watched on with her eyes fixed till the image became clearer. He was tall, he had his i-pod, track-pants and sneakers on and was sweating. She couldn't quite help the full attention that she gave, not her usual self. She liked the fresh young and cool look. He went past her without a blink, without a grin. He took the turn that she just came by. Seconds later, she turned back to get a last glance and he turned back too. It was dark for him to notice her smile. She smiled wide. She smiled all the way back home while the skies poured out and drenched her even more in happiness.

Forever - Veiled

The place was almost packed. People belonged to all kinds, race, size, nature.
She slowly struggled her way through the crowd getting crushed and squeezed on her way,then finally found a place to sit. What a relief, the window seat was a bonus.
She pushed opened the glass window with her tender slim hands and maximum force that she could give it and sat back. The cool tender morning breeze making its way through the window grills, dried the sweat off her face. she could almost smile at it. She looked around. There were more than a dozen pair of male eyes gazing at her. She wished she could get up and burn all those eyes off, scratch their faces, like they were never there. But, the least she could do is ignore. Look elsewhere. Act like she never saw them. She pulled out a book from her bag and started reading. She carefully lifted one of her legs and crossed it over the other, pulled her blue kameez down to comfort. Her pink churidhar was matching her pink earings, pink dhuppata and pink footwear. Her bindi had traces of both the colours and so did her hair pins.
She was reading her book with all the attention, may be she had an exam/test in college or she was just reading to divert herself from the people around her.
After a few stops, traffic signals and jams the bus finally was approaching her stop. She got ready to get off. She pulled out her bag, placed the book in it and removed a piece of cloth from inside. A Blue one, to match her kameez.
Without the slightest hesitation, she folded the cloth into two and wore it down from her eyes, the other half was hanging down. She then took it up from behind and used it to cover her hair. Within a minute it was done. she had a blue cloth all around her face and hair. All that could be seen of the pretty face that was there till now was the confused pair of eyes and the double coloured bindi. Wearing her bag around her, she again pushed herself through the crowd and got off to go join a dozen other girls waiting for her, like her, veiled.

Shell , Space, Mine.

My wings come out and let me fly,
say my words, dance my steps;
Nothing to feign, no one to hide,
everything here is loud, clear and right.
Its my space, my bubble, my world.
Love fills in every little gap you find,
language spoken is sense and people here are my type
all to do all day is laugh, cry and rejoice.
Not everyone is welcome home;
cause its my shell and everything here is just plain mine.

Adding to the Morbid Confusion

The choking and suffocating roads are already cutting our throats enough, the BMTC drivers are only adding more and more to it.
Any regular commuter in the BMTC bus will be able to understand the situation. I am not a regular commuter, but i try my best to take a bus rather than an auto when i have to use public transport. While doing this can give a hand to the environment and traffic issues in the city, the lethargy and bad attitude these drivers makes me wonder if its really worth it.
It was around 9 30 am on a weekday morning. After a 5 minute wait, a bus dragged itself to the stop. It was comparatively empty, but pushed itself into the narrow road, which was already flooded with vehicles in a turning. Firstly, the bus does not have a conductor. Second, The driver conveniently halts the bus on a side, occupying 3/4th of the turning, giving out tickets to people who were boarding the bus. Two more buses reach the stop and start honking incessantly , which was quite obvious at that time. After 2 minutes of hearing the horn, the driver slowly moves ahead, still distributing tickets. He actually, steers with one hand and gives tickets with the other hand. A traffic cop at the spot came to the bus and started tapping the bus , signalling the driver to move. But, even that did not make a huge difference to him. Though this site kinda gave me shocks about the way he was driving, it was pretty normal to everyone in the bus as they keep seeing such instances every day. They were jus used to this behavior.
The amount they charge for the ticket purely depends on their mood and the person. I end up paying anywhere from 6-9 rs for the same distance, on different days in different buses. You really cant question if you aren't sure about it.
The Volvo buses are surely a relief. They are convenient, friendly and comfortable. A definite boon to people travelling to ITPL and EC. But what about other commuters who want to make use of public transport? Forget the convenience and comfort, the least they could get is cordial drivers. I dont blame all of them. I myself have met a couple of sweet people on bus. But i kinda feel the majority have a negligent attitude. Alright they have a boring job. Accepted that it is horrible to drive on those roads. But that doesn't mean they add to the pain where they spend most time of their lives. What did the poor commuters do?

When Parents are that and more

Its a funny thought. But it keeps striking me more often now and more clearer than what i thought it was. The thought about how relationships over a period of time, camouflage into multiple shades that means different things at different phases in life, especially parents. This is one relationship that you grow up with and means a lot to most of us.
I still cant believe that i realised this fact so late and take every opportunity that i get now to enjoy this process.
I still share a very different relationship with each one of them, the one that i have been having since childhood. But slowly and very subtly an insignificant change grew with it. The mom things and dad things still remain, the lectures , the gossips, the difference of opinions and the fights of course.
I can laugh at them now for silly things, I make fun like never before and get back love enough and more, they have grown with me.. to understand my silly and weird ways.
My suggestions still go unheard though, it never made sense to them. But that doesn't seem to change anything and makes me feel like me in the end.
The gap still remains, much much narrower now... but what feels changed is that both of us have shifted to new levels, and keep growing to never really understand that we do. One day i think the gap will fade... and slowly close.
I sometimes feel its a myth that the generation gap widens with age and thoughts, i can see it fading and we growing to fill the gaps.
But i realized one thing can just never be changed and i am glad that it doesn't. However time passes, whatever you do in life and come back... you still get snubbed for being a kid! :)

I call it the Job saving act.

Is it a natural process to get serious at your work?
I mean serious, responsible , you fell you need to do it cause its important to you and it matters to you; rather than a feeling of doing it cause you don't want to be questioned or because you don't want to be troubled by it again or even because you just want to get done with it.
Do people get passionate about work genuinely, with no strings attached? No matter how much they get paid. No matter what it does to them. Simply plain passion as a liking, as a way of you doing things and believing in it.
I am kinda specific here about the monotonous genre of work. Typically software, but also any other similar field of work.
There have been occasions when i just wanted to get up and walk out of meetings, i just did not want to respond cause i couldn't relate. I know that's ok with me cause i am not passionate enough, but i kinda feel that with lot of people around who slog their ass out, they work like crazy but is it their passion?
Are we saving jobs because its a way of survival and we need to take home bread and better or because it gets imbibed in us after a point of time that it doesn't matter what you do , you just do things!
I am saving my job right now. I want to change before it gets worse. Before it stops mattering to me anymore, before i get embedded into it and frozen to things around.
I hope it happens , a good break to make a difference is all i want.

A toast to the congenital quality – Womanhood

The world is defined as a stage and people as actors. We all play roles, take charge, change to situations, act to advantage and so on and so forth. It’s a talent today, they commonly call it ‘multi tasking’.
I got reminded of one of those typical, laid back and no purpose conversations at home. These happen in holidays when most of us are at home and we talk about old stories. This is a time when everybody talks a lot especially my grandmom. There is something extremely divine about the way ‘grand moms’ look. They have a glow in their faces exuberant of holiness and this terrific immature smile of childishness, as if old age is childhood regained. She was easily in that category. A quick conversation with her, and she drives us down her memory lane, remembering her childhood and life after that. She starts off about her pre independence life and the big job her dad had those days in madras. It was a big deal to own a car and a phone and they were one of the few families who did back then. ‘I Was 14 when I got married’ she recalls with a chuckle and a vague remembrance of the day. While speaking of a typical day during peak life, she said ‘I had 8 kids at home. All in the age difference of one or two years. We normally have at least 20 people to eat. I had to bathe all my kids, cook food for them, pack food for my husband and manage the house work’. She also added in a due pride ‘We had a cook then, we were a little rich.’ I just breathed a sigh. I took a few minutes aside and just recounted what I heard. Having said all this, these are the genre of people who have no regrets in the way they spent their lives whatsoever.
Of course, we now belong to a new age, a different era. We work on modes of redefined aspirations and compete for privileges, rights, act and what not. We are the new age women sans discrepancies and gender bias. We don’t understand the ‘Only men can’ way of things and we thrive in the same space where Anuradha Vaidhyanathan qualifies for Half-Iron man. I wonder if this is what Bharathiyar meant when he called us ‘Pudhumai Penn’. We definitely have come a long way. We have sailed through the beaten torn tracks and swam our way into the safer zones.
But, amidst all this is there something that we still carry from the yester years? Is there something common in you and your grand mom? A vibe that connects both of you? I guess there is. It’s the congenital womanhood, the quality that defines and identifies every woman. It’s that wave that connects us and gets us going in 2 minutes of an ice breaker, the same vibe that lets us be the achievers we are today. I strongly feel that women those days were no less a multi-taskers than any CEO today. Only the way we define success has been changed and we are catering to the new definition. We define the woman of today as someone who plays multiple roles mom, girlfriend, wife, professional. It really isn’t a big deal because it’s just innate in her to do it. That is the way she is made and she loves to live with it. Look around you and there are millions of women catering to every aspect of her multiplicity every day in life. Right from your mom at home to the girl in your adjacent cubicle!
Happy woman’s day!!