I hope it comes everyday

Its 7 in the evening.
The sun's rays on my face, i don't know what it says.
I look at it again to smile, a familiarity i cannot deny.
I wave out the mask to those million questions over again today.
Every day is an opportunity to make a difference, or so they say.
A dozen opinions creep out again - make a change. be the change.
Intention and drive is what everyone has. Recognition for it is what everyone wants.
Procrastination just lives in.
Some day - Ultimately everyone wants to make a change.
Is there someone to start today? Now? To beat the drum and get it rolling?
'Hypocrisy' - sounds cruel. But i cant find a better word.
Its 7:30 now.
Its setting in, to beat the thought. To let go again and to drown into the chores to drive away thoughts that keeps me busy from the reality.
I am glad it came out today. I pray for it to come everyday and slap me in my face.
Remind me of the purpose to beat denial and be myself again.

All that I wanted!

Three hugs and kisses to follow. Three people and a wonderful morning. A beautiful big cake from two idiots, far apart now. Lots of love and nothing more than that can make a birthday amazingly beautiful.

Shell , Space, Mine.

My wings come out and let me fly,
say my words, dance my steps;
Nothing to feign, no one to hide,
everything here is loud, clear and right.
Its my space, my bubble, my world.
Love fills in every little gap you find,
language spoken is sense and people here are my type
all to do all day is laugh, cry and rejoice.
Not everyone is welcome home;
cause its my shell and everything here is just plain mine.

When Parents are that and more

Its a funny thought. But it keeps striking me more often now and more clearer than what i thought it was. The thought about how relationships over a period of time, camouflage into multiple shades that means different things at different phases in life, especially parents. This is one relationship that you grow up with and means a lot to most of us.
I still cant believe that i realised this fact so late and take every opportunity that i get now to enjoy this process.
I still share a very different relationship with each one of them, the one that i have been having since childhood. But slowly and very subtly an insignificant change grew with it. The mom things and dad things still remain, the lectures , the gossips, the difference of opinions and the fights of course.
I can laugh at them now for silly things, I make fun like never before and get back love enough and more, they have grown with me.. to understand my silly and weird ways.
My suggestions still go unheard though, it never made sense to them. But that doesn't seem to change anything and makes me feel like me in the end.
The gap still remains, much much narrower now... but what feels changed is that both of us have shifted to new levels, and keep growing to never really understand that we do. One day i think the gap will fade... and slowly close.
I sometimes feel its a myth that the generation gap widens with age and thoughts, i can see it fading and we growing to fill the gaps.
But i realized one thing can just never be changed and i am glad that it doesn't. However time passes, whatever you do in life and come back... you still get snubbed for being a kid! :)

I call it the Job saving act.

Is it a natural process to get serious at your work?
I mean serious, responsible , you fell you need to do it cause its important to you and it matters to you; rather than a feeling of doing it cause you don't want to be questioned or because you don't want to be troubled by it again or even because you just want to get done with it.
Do people get passionate about work genuinely, with no strings attached? No matter how much they get paid. No matter what it does to them. Simply plain passion as a liking, as a way of you doing things and believing in it.
I am kinda specific here about the monotonous genre of work. Typically software, but also any other similar field of work.
There have been occasions when i just wanted to get up and walk out of meetings, i just did not want to respond cause i couldn't relate. I know that's ok with me cause i am not passionate enough, but i kinda feel that with lot of people around who slog their ass out, they work like crazy but is it their passion?
Are we saving jobs because its a way of survival and we need to take home bread and better or because it gets imbibed in us after a point of time that it doesn't matter what you do , you just do things!
I am saving my job right now. I want to change before it gets worse. Before it stops mattering to me anymore, before i get embedded into it and frozen to things around.
I hope it happens , a good break to make a difference is all i want.

Is it about breaking taboos or about respecting life??

I could feel the chords inside me strike a tone when the thought crossed my mind. When the true meaning caught my attention; i completely disagreed. I wanted to scream out that this did not make sense, i was shocked by the natural acceptance of the fact by people around me.

We are given life by the power of creation. But it is definitely not a human act to create life. nothing can explain this, neither science nor biology.
So when did we get the rights for destruction? Let that be for mercy or otherwise.
I think mercy killing is not acceptable. We have no rights to take lives of individuals, even if they are suffering hell and can see death everyday.
I believe every incident in life has a reason and is governed by the deeds of that person in life. If he has to suffer as close to death then thats how his karma is. Who are we to control his death at a point of time.
There are just two things in life beyond human control which is creation and destruction. Any effort to change this does not make much sense. We can work around it, close to it, but never control it.

'Mercy Killing' is not a Taboo to be broken. Its an unethical practise that needs more attention and thought.

Trivial but significant Realizations

When i work hard on something, put all my efforts and positive energy towards it and i succeed, its good. If i dont, its even better. I realize there is more to learn from failures than success and failure doesnt mean incapability , its jus that i have a much better purpose to serve elsewhere.

Its the Block!

There is defenitely a block right now.
A block to do anything at all. Its been extremely impossible for the last 24 hrs.
There was a respite when i heard SPB and Kamal for sometime.
But its just there. Feel like just cribbing and resigning.
I want the higher calling to take precedence, the satan to relieve.
I want liberation!!!

Recognising that Glow

'Hatred' can be safely classified as the worst quality someone could possess.
Alas, we are all humans;we all experience this feeling sometime or other in life.
Beating this deadly infectious disease could be a great leap towards,
being at peace with yourself, rejuvenating and working towards being enlightened.
I experienced that the best way to do this is by spreading love,
looking into the positive about that person and breaking that mental block.
I'm amazed at how some people can do that so easily.The sheer look at that person, makes you feel happy and gives you fulfillment, even though you hardly know them.
It definitely is a divine quality, the gift to tame that bundle of emotions for good, the intention to look at the positive in people and just forget the evil, the ability to look at a child's innocence and own it, the innate nature to enjoy the trivial things in life and cherish them.
Its not something that everyone can do that easily or something that can be taught or learnt..
Its congenital.
I think they are those people whom we call 'God's own kids'.We still experience goodness because of these people alive.
No, they aren't politicians, celebrities nor social workers...
Some normal human beings, who go on spreading this divine quality.
People who are all around, who just need a second glance to be identified,who all posses an inborn glow.
They could be your mom, dad, neighbour or the person sitting next to you.
I'm so sure that there are so many of them, celebrating humanity and love.
Cheers to all those divine humans, I'm glad i was able to recognize some of them.

A whole new meaning.

Its that feeling which makes me think about one reason worth living.
Its that moment when i can just sit down and cry.
Its that phase of life, when nothing that i do adds any value.
Its that time when i feel alone, stranded, miserable.
The grief and pain it causes, stays on for quiet sometime.
It takes every bit of me to recoup and think sane.
Nothing can make it better, except that one single want.
Yes, happiness at that point of time is nothing but just that one want.
Just that one single want, the want worth living!
Maybe its not the worst feeling in life then,
i know that one single reason worth living.