Forever - Veiled

The place was almost packed. People belonged to all kinds, race, size, nature.
She slowly struggled her way through the crowd getting crushed and squeezed on her way,then finally found a place to sit. What a relief, the window seat was a bonus.
She pushed opened the glass window with her tender slim hands and maximum force that she could give it and sat back. The cool tender morning breeze making its way through the window grills, dried the sweat off her face. she could almost smile at it. She looked around. There were more than a dozen pair of male eyes gazing at her. She wished she could get up and burn all those eyes off, scratch their faces, like they were never there. But, the least she could do is ignore. Look elsewhere. Act like she never saw them. She pulled out a book from her bag and started reading. She carefully lifted one of her legs and crossed it over the other, pulled her blue kameez down to comfort. Her pink churidhar was matching her pink earings, pink dhuppata and pink footwear. Her bindi had traces of both the colours and so did her hair pins.
She was reading her book with all the attention, may be she had an exam/test in college or she was just reading to divert herself from the people around her.
After a few stops, traffic signals and jams the bus finally was approaching her stop. She got ready to get off. She pulled out her bag, placed the book in it and removed a piece of cloth from inside. A Blue one, to match her kameez.
Without the slightest hesitation, she folded the cloth into two and wore it down from her eyes, the other half was hanging down. She then took it up from behind and used it to cover her hair. Within a minute it was done. she had a blue cloth all around her face and hair. All that could be seen of the pretty face that was there till now was the confused pair of eyes and the double coloured bindi. Wearing her bag around her, she again pushed herself through the crowd and got off to go join a dozen other girls waiting for her, like her, veiled.

Adding to the Morbid Confusion

The choking and suffocating roads are already cutting our throats enough, the BMTC drivers are only adding more and more to it.
Any regular commuter in the BMTC bus will be able to understand the situation. I am not a regular commuter, but i try my best to take a bus rather than an auto when i have to use public transport. While doing this can give a hand to the environment and traffic issues in the city, the lethargy and bad attitude these drivers makes me wonder if its really worth it.
It was around 9 30 am on a weekday morning. After a 5 minute wait, a bus dragged itself to the stop. It was comparatively empty, but pushed itself into the narrow road, which was already flooded with vehicles in a turning. Firstly, the bus does not have a conductor. Second, The driver conveniently halts the bus on a side, occupying 3/4th of the turning, giving out tickets to people who were boarding the bus. Two more buses reach the stop and start honking incessantly , which was quite obvious at that time. After 2 minutes of hearing the horn, the driver slowly moves ahead, still distributing tickets. He actually, steers with one hand and gives tickets with the other hand. A traffic cop at the spot came to the bus and started tapping the bus , signalling the driver to move. But, even that did not make a huge difference to him. Though this site kinda gave me shocks about the way he was driving, it was pretty normal to everyone in the bus as they keep seeing such instances every day. They were jus used to this behavior.
The amount they charge for the ticket purely depends on their mood and the person. I end up paying anywhere from 6-9 rs for the same distance, on different days in different buses. You really cant question if you aren't sure about it.
The Volvo buses are surely a relief. They are convenient, friendly and comfortable. A definite boon to people travelling to ITPL and EC. But what about other commuters who want to make use of public transport? Forget the convenience and comfort, the least they could get is cordial drivers. I dont blame all of them. I myself have met a couple of sweet people on bus. But i kinda feel the majority have a negligent attitude. Alright they have a boring job. Accepted that it is horrible to drive on those roads. But that doesn't mean they add to the pain where they spend most time of their lives. What did the poor commuters do?

When Parents are that and more

Its a funny thought. But it keeps striking me more often now and more clearer than what i thought it was. The thought about how relationships over a period of time, camouflage into multiple shades that means different things at different phases in life, especially parents. This is one relationship that you grow up with and means a lot to most of us.
I still cant believe that i realised this fact so late and take every opportunity that i get now to enjoy this process.
I still share a very different relationship with each one of them, the one that i have been having since childhood. But slowly and very subtly an insignificant change grew with it. The mom things and dad things still remain, the lectures , the gossips, the difference of opinions and the fights of course.
I can laugh at them now for silly things, I make fun like never before and get back love enough and more, they have grown with me.. to understand my silly and weird ways.
My suggestions still go unheard though, it never made sense to them. But that doesn't seem to change anything and makes me feel like me in the end.
The gap still remains, much much narrower now... but what feels changed is that both of us have shifted to new levels, and keep growing to never really understand that we do. One day i think the gap will fade... and slowly close.
I sometimes feel its a myth that the generation gap widens with age and thoughts, i can see it fading and we growing to fill the gaps.
But i realized one thing can just never be changed and i am glad that it doesn't. However time passes, whatever you do in life and come back... you still get snubbed for being a kid! :)

A toast to the congenital quality – Womanhood

The world is defined as a stage and people as actors. We all play roles, take charge, change to situations, act to advantage and so on and so forth. It’s a talent today, they commonly call it ‘multi tasking’.
I got reminded of one of those typical, laid back and no purpose conversations at home. These happen in holidays when most of us are at home and we talk about old stories. This is a time when everybody talks a lot especially my grandmom. There is something extremely divine about the way ‘grand moms’ look. They have a glow in their faces exuberant of holiness and this terrific immature smile of childishness, as if old age is childhood regained. She was easily in that category. A quick conversation with her, and she drives us down her memory lane, remembering her childhood and life after that. She starts off about her pre independence life and the big job her dad had those days in madras. It was a big deal to own a car and a phone and they were one of the few families who did back then. ‘I Was 14 when I got married’ she recalls with a chuckle and a vague remembrance of the day. While speaking of a typical day during peak life, she said ‘I had 8 kids at home. All in the age difference of one or two years. We normally have at least 20 people to eat. I had to bathe all my kids, cook food for them, pack food for my husband and manage the house work’. She also added in a due pride ‘We had a cook then, we were a little rich.’ I just breathed a sigh. I took a few minutes aside and just recounted what I heard. Having said all this, these are the genre of people who have no regrets in the way they spent their lives whatsoever.
Of course, we now belong to a new age, a different era. We work on modes of redefined aspirations and compete for privileges, rights, act and what not. We are the new age women sans discrepancies and gender bias. We don’t understand the ‘Only men can’ way of things and we thrive in the same space where Anuradha Vaidhyanathan qualifies for Half-Iron man. I wonder if this is what Bharathiyar meant when he called us ‘Pudhumai Penn’. We definitely have come a long way. We have sailed through the beaten torn tracks and swam our way into the safer zones.
But, amidst all this is there something that we still carry from the yester years? Is there something common in you and your grand mom? A vibe that connects both of you? I guess there is. It’s the congenital womanhood, the quality that defines and identifies every woman. It’s that wave that connects us and gets us going in 2 minutes of an ice breaker, the same vibe that lets us be the achievers we are today. I strongly feel that women those days were no less a multi-taskers than any CEO today. Only the way we define success has been changed and we are catering to the new definition. We define the woman of today as someone who plays multiple roles mom, girlfriend, wife, professional. It really isn’t a big deal because it’s just innate in her to do it. That is the way she is made and she loves to live with it. Look around you and there are millions of women catering to every aspect of her multiplicity every day in life. Right from your mom at home to the girl in your adjacent cubicle!
Happy woman’s day!!

Trivial but significant realizations - 2

I am a volunteer. I believe in making a contribution that focuses on making a small change at least in one person's life. I go to a government school on Saturdays to teach the kids there. These are kids who already come to school and we go there to enhance their level of education and also to provide them better exposure to things in whatever way we could. Well, through the years that I have been going there I realized change is something that is extremely tough to bring about. The kind of change I am talking here is change in attitude, change in the way they approach things, change in their opinion towards education, school and teachers, change in the way they lead life and change in their expectation of future. It looks a little bleak at this time and I only hope that all this takes us somewhere. I am a droplet in the ocean of people who are rising towards making this change. Even a step ahead from here is victory.

Everyday when I walk to and from office, I have to go past a series of huts. I normally just wiz pass that lane. I always had a feeling that people living in these kinds of houses aren’t normal and they might harm me if it’s a little dark. Yesterday, in my regular attempt to just speed up that lane I did not notice 3 small kids playing in front of their huts. Just when I was rushing the smallest one among them came and pulled my hand. He said “aunty” and gave me a huge smile. He looked beautiful. A naughty look in his eyes teeth all over his face and little hand pulling me; he was dirty and wore torn clothes and so were the two others with him. I gently bend down and asked his name for which he said something which sounded like “ajith” to me. I spent a couple of minutes there and left. It stuck me that we have work right from home. Whoever bothered if ajith went to school or not, I am sure his parents are poor and earn just enough to feed him or may be not even that? These children grow up doing nothing and then become either child laborers or continue to do what their dads did. Unless the parents get aware and send them to schools they would probably not go to one ever in their lives. Apart from catering to kids in govt schools, labor camps, ashrams, NGO’s we have to start looking at children in the streets and slums. They exist and have no idea where to go.

Is it about breaking taboos or about respecting life??

I could feel the chords inside me strike a tone when the thought crossed my mind. When the true meaning caught my attention; i completely disagreed. I wanted to scream out that this did not make sense, i was shocked by the natural acceptance of the fact by people around me.

We are given life by the power of creation. But it is definitely not a human act to create life. nothing can explain this, neither science nor biology.
So when did we get the rights for destruction? Let that be for mercy or otherwise.
I think mercy killing is not acceptable. We have no rights to take lives of individuals, even if they are suffering hell and can see death everyday.
I believe every incident in life has a reason and is governed by the deeds of that person in life. If he has to suffer as close to death then thats how his karma is. Who are we to control his death at a point of time.
There are just two things in life beyond human control which is creation and destruction. Any effort to change this does not make much sense. We can work around it, close to it, but never control it.

'Mercy Killing' is not a Taboo to be broken. Its an unethical practise that needs more attention and thought.

A life so different

It was one of the most boring trains one could be in on a sunday afternoon....
I watched out of the window for a long time.After a while when i got used to seeing the paddy fields and the dark green shrubs that was all way through the journey, i got back to doing the most common time pass in trains. Indulge in a not so intersting conversation with my sister where there was more of listening and less of speaking to do [:P]
We were in the midst of a time pass discussion about what is the most important thing they look for when you go for a UK visa interview..(yawn..) and there was this dark figure who crawled into our bay. He would be somewhere around 10 to 12 yrs. He was topless and his brown skin tanned due to the heat was exposing his ribs. He was wearing a rugged denim which protected his limbs as he crawled through the dirty rail compartments. With the dirty cloth in his hands brushed the dirt in the passage. He got into the bay and collected the spilt food particles and black remainants of god knos what with his bare hands while removing the footware and luggage lying there.
I was shocked at the plight of a 10 year old. I looked at my sister and we had the same thoughts running. I picked up a 5 rupee coin from my bag and gave it to him, while the others in the compartment continued to function oblivious of a soul who just picked up their footwear and cleaned their bay. The boy tried his luck by calling people, touching them and begging with his hands out. No one gave him a second look.
Half an hour later, an old haggered looking man walked in. This was something really unusual. He came in to the bay and and had his shirt unbuttoned. He had a huge scary looking organ hanging out of stomach. It was the dirtiest and scariest thing one could ever have. The moment i saw this man, my immediate reaction was to just close my eyes and just wanted him to get away from the place. The first thing in my mind was not pity, it was to just get rid of the dirty feeling and seeing something extremely disturbing.And my companions continued to be in their own worlds. In fact, nothing could make a difference there.
Sometime later, i thought about my attitude change towards these two underprivilidged human being i came across. Why was it that i wanted to help the boy and not the old man? May be because i thought i had to help the boy, he was trying to earn money by working. But why not a dirty suffering old man? I dont know.
In my entire journey i met a couple of more people in similar situations to whom i did not know how to react. I was confused about the attitude i had to show towards them. I really cant go around helping all the ten people i see everyday. But i also cant close my eyes to a 10 year old who picked up my footwear to clean it.

Is the money burnt, the Joy earned?

Stunning clothes , expensive food, the best of places available in town, music is a must and crackers too sometimes!3 months of planning, Suggestions from even the not so well known relatives, confusion all around the house, but we claim to enjoy it.Its takes 3 whole days for the boy to tie just 3 knots around the girl's neck....and shhhhhh no one here talks about how much all this costs, it just has to be spent, its just once in a lifetime afterall!

Feels like we are headed to making a status quotient through the occassion, everyone wants to make a big wedding.The rich ones have the money and they have to spend it, the not so rich ones have some money but then comes the 'once in lifetime' quote, the poor cant show that they are poor else how do they get their daughters married?, so even they have to spend...by hook or by crook.
We belong to the modern world ,we have girls who earn equally well .According to us dowry is a thing passe'.There are just two questions which go unanswered amdist all this,
One, are we moulding the so called 'dowry' to a much subtler version through lavish weddings?
Two, are we putting the burden through our weddings , jus because we could afford it, on to the people in the lower social strata?
This seriously needs a second though.