Its time to move on....

Exploring and exploiting take turns. When you are done with exploring something new people, places, relationships, opportunities, you just want to lay back and exploit them. You would prefer to just exploit your existing habitat than take efforts to move on and find something new...

I am done with exploiting. Its time to move on, explore....

A new page and a new look.

But loved this one and will cherish it for long.

New page but same old thoughts... http://sripriyapadmanabhan.wordpress.com/

Busy to be Bored?

Its 2 am in West Lafayette. I cannot sleep a blink, i have already slept enough during the day. I feel like going out to have a coffee. But the 3 degrees outside doesn't seem to make that happen.

Its finals week. Last year this time i remember cramming the whole week and just waiting to be done. And here i am feeling like done even before i start. Feels like just another week that has to pass and exams are a routine that would just happen.

I still remember my 3 am mornings when i could just sit and read, until i am done and feel fresh for the early morning nap. Just explore music till mornings or so busy gathering thoughts that i just dont fall asleep. I feel like disabled to do that again. This life at school has put me ahead in few things but pushed me back in things i used to enjoy. I am feeling hard to even get back.

Its just time to take a break and read a book. At least better than filling that 100th job application at 2 am.

Familiar but Lost

It just takes minutes to get past through the roads and get anywhere around town. The little town of west lafayette and the mini downtown of lafayette is a few miles now. Distance is no matter. Thanks to google maps, a free navigator to a dumb driver.

Little restaurants, familiar faces, street names and road signs. I even recogonized a new welcome board that was set up in one of the common roads. The coffee aditction thats caught on, i know the starbucks counter lady by name and greet her with a friendly chat. Its hard to believe the familiarity that creeped in and its been just a year.

A year of being an exicle, unemployed dependent, sporadic commoner, non reader, non writer, a grad student. The overdose of deprivation can get someone so used to it, that its starts to change and its important to react before the change reaches a stage when its no more noticed. Its hard to belive that i have stopped missing things that i yearned for and its just been a year.

New faces, new classes, new parties, old professors and same old rawls hall. The little rawls hall, my favorite place in the whole of purdue. Something else is also new. The new recognition of being a second year, a mentor, a problem solver, an example? The new faces roaming around rawls hall yearning for direction in every little deal. Butterflies in their stomach about first week of classes and its funny when they ask you. 'Can we actually get through this?'. Its hard to believe that its not been long since i was one of them. When did the baton change hands?

I did have fun and i am sure i will. This familiarity is something that i wasnt prepared and is getting me ready for a change sooner than i ever thought i would.

I hope it comes everyday

Its 7 in the evening.
The sun's rays on my face, i don't know what it says.
I look at it again to smile, a familiarity i cannot deny.
I wave out the mask to those million questions over again today.
Every day is an opportunity to make a difference, or so they say.
A dozen opinions creep out again - make a change. be the change.
Intention and drive is what everyone has. Recognition for it is what everyone wants.
Procrastination just lives in.
Some day - Ultimately everyone wants to make a change.
Is there someone to start today? Now? To beat the drum and get it rolling?
'Hypocrisy' - sounds cruel. But i cant find a better word.
Its 7:30 now.
Its setting in, to beat the thought. To let go again and to drown into the chores to drive away thoughts that keeps me busy from the reality.
I am glad it came out today. I pray for it to come everyday and slap me in my face.
Remind me of the purpose to beat denial and be myself again.

Dreamy

Idealism, Romantisism , Reality converge.

Goals are fleeting and Life is just an experiment.
Inhibitions - let go. Freedom - Re identified. Societial - Disregard.

She believes confusion pre existed time and reasoning always surrounds favourable decisions.

She lives to unlearn , yields to reality and stops to true love.

She exists.

The B-school Buckle

Its getting on me:

• The incessant job search
• Outlook syndrome
• hibernated laptops
• The 3-am snack and 3 alarms at a time
• Facebook- Gtalk
• Turned on lights
• ' leaving talk'
• Freezing walks
• The last Name disability

Phew!

did i just make a bulleted list?

do i even know how to blog?

At times..

Laugher. Laugher. Uninhibited...
People. People. All around...
Chaos. Madness. Like never before...
Growth. Success. To get somewhere...
Money.Power. Comes and goes...
Void. Empty. Space. That can never fill...
In a foreign land.